


Again, Back to You

by spadenoace



Category: Running Man RPF
Genre: F/M, Retirement AU, Retirement AU with successful actress JH and retired single dad JK
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-01-04 07:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21193592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spadenoace/pseuds/spadenoace
Summary: After Running Man ends, Jong Kook retires and disappears from the public view. Years later, Ji Hyo is a top actress travelling around the nation after another hit role. A chance encounter with Jong Kook on a quiet coastal town brings back all of her unresolved feelings once more, but wait, he has a kid?





	1. Chapter 1

The morning of the last Running Man filming brings a cloudless blue sky. It would have been a warm summer day, save for the pleasantly cool breeze that ruffles their hair.

“Looks like the heavens are in our favor today. They know it’s our last day,” Suk Jin comments, chuckling lightly.

Indeed, the day is a stark contrast to their very first filming, disastrous by all accounts, with unexpected wind and rain. In hindsight, the incident is a treasured memory.

“Five years, huh?” Jae Suk adjusts his cap with a smile. They are entertainers, here for a good time, never a long time. For someone who has been in the industry for almost two decades, five years was neither here nor there.

The end of Running Man had been in the works for several weeks now, with both Jae Suk and Jong Kook staying late to talk with the PDs. Though Running Man suffered a slow drop in popularity since its heyday, it still remains a household name both domestically and overseas.

The last episode, to air a week later, would receive their highest ratings yet, though neither the members nor the staff could know at the moment. Right now, all eyes focus on Jae Suk as he guides them through the opening segment, as he always does.

They watch several clips revisiting some of the highest rated moments from over the years, the games and segments that had come and gone. Not without some bickering, of course, it simply would not be Running Man without the members fighting to be heard over each other.

In what feels like no time at all, the filming nears its end, with their last segment set up to resemble A Leisurely Cup of Tea. Ji Hyo barely remembers it, though the earlier clips job her lagging memory. Readings of fan letters, accumulated en masse once the news had gotten out, punctuate their last, childish pranks of making each other drink the worst (but still healthy, argued Jong Kook) combinations of tea the world has seen.

After a final moment thanking their viewers and their staff for their time and love for bringing them thus far, they end the filming on a cheerful note with much waving and jumping and fist pumping in classic Running Man style. Once the slate sounds however, Ji Hyo slowly lets her hand fall.

For dinner, the staff had rented out an entire restaurant, with Jae Suk paying of course. Gwang Soo keeps tearing up at dinner and bursting into bouts where he grabs the nearest member and pulls them into a hug. This time the unfortunate recipient is Ji Hyo.

“Gwang Soo!” She smacks their giraffe on the head playfully. He’ll squeeze all the tears pricking her eyes out of her at this rate. And then she would not know how to stop. “That’s it, no more soju for you.”

“Gwang Soo always gets mopey when he’s drunk,” Jong Kook’s eyes glitter under the lights of the restaurant warm with the heat and smell of cooking meat. He holds a small cup of soju in one hand (an occasion like today is an exception, he says), back leaned leisurely against the wall.

“Yeah kiddo, it’s just our last filming. We’re not retiring or anything,” Haha nudges him. “You’re an actor after all. Don't tell me you've never had a send off dinner?” One of the rare times Haha acknowledges Gwang Soo's true profession without teasing. His voice too holds no bark, softer than usual with exasperated affection.

“Yeah but hyung…”

“Aigo, cut him some slack, Dong Hoon. Your first variety show will always be special,” Jae Suk says, turning this way from where he had been talking to Suk Jin.

Suk Jin too joins the conversation. “It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.”

“...I know, it just won’t all be the same.”

The elder members exchange wry smiles.

Ji Hyo prides herself for only crying twice by the end of the night.

Running Man was longest program she had been on, at times the most challenging, but for all that, Ji Hyo cherishes it. Perhaps it’s just the alcohol in her system and the reality of an end weighing in her mind, but the stars seem to dance as she drives away. Ji Hyo leans her forehead against the window, the low vibration of the car lulling her to sleep. She feels like the luckiest person in the world, to exist in this same time, same place with such people. Ji Hyo quietly commits her dysfunctional TV family to memory:

Gwang Soo, sweet under his traitorous facade, Haha and Gary, a constant source of laughter. Brilliant, bumbling, and too chatty Suk Jin, playful and earnest Jae Suk. And Jong Kook. Loyal and earnest, constant as the stars, Jong Kook.

A few months later, Ji Hyo finds herself nose deep into her latest script. Offers have poured in since the end of Running Man now that she can dedicate her time to be a full-time actress. Despite the ever-present whispers that follow- that she was merely riding on the coattails of her variety success, that this too will fall, Ji Hyo is, and always has been, a hard worker. Now after a few successful roles with generally decent acclaim, she received her first audition for the lead female role in a fairly anticipated drama from one of the major broadcasting studios. Ji Hyo doesn’t recognize the director, but the main writer Go Yang Mi is well known in the drama world for her fantastical worldbuilding. Titled _Land of the Maestri_, the plot revolves around the existence of maestros- genius artists, who at the height of their mastery in their field, gain immortality and the power to control nature.

She practices saying the lines aloud, fingers thumbing over the worn, dog-eared pages even when she’s memorized them already. Tiny handwriting fill the margins, and lines leap out in highlighted technicolor more often than not. In a few hours, Sun Mi will pick her up for a CF photo and video shoot. If she still wants to grab lunch at her favorite burger joint across the street, she’ll have to hurry through the reading first.

“But my dream you speak of is not eternal. Before long, when my youth betrays me and I can no longer give chase…. Let me be by your side.”

“Let me be by your side,” she tries again.

Ji Hyo lays on the sofa, book resting on her head like a cold compress. Maybe she should call it a day, and hit up the burger joint a little early instead.

A quick trip later, Ji Hyo reads through her news feed, occasionally setting down her burger to scroll to the next article. At last she reaches the entertainment section, though she quickly skips over any headline too tabloid or overdramatic for her tastes. Ji Hyo's face splits into a small grin when her eyes catch a familiar name in an article: _Yoo Jae Suk and Kim Tae Ho PD in talks about starting new show._

Though she hasn't seen them since their last dinner together, her members occasionally dot the headlines on the entertainment news. A movie there, a new show there- reading their many feats from her corner of the nation fills her with no small sense of pride and happiness on their behalf. And relief, as if they would still be only ever a call away.

All except one.

Like all matters of some importance, Running Man’s subsequent end consisted of many things. Declining ratings and popularity, their aging bodies and health, criticism from fans, limited budget- one can spend many an evening naming all the woes of a cancelled TV show. The core however, the members agreed privately, nonetheless involved Jong Kook. That Jong Kook’s body was reaching a breaking point grew only increasingly obvious as time passed.

An obvious choice might have been to continue without him, an action Jong Kook both understood and expected having lived the industry for so long. Yet, once the last episode airs, Jong Kook confessed in their group chat he couldn’t think of a better ending that the one they had crafted together.

The last time she’d seen Jong Kook was at the hospital two months earlier, with Gwang Soo and Haha also in tow. By now, he must have been discharged, probably giving his physical therapists a run for their money on his road to recovery. More than once she thinks about calling him to ask he is doing. But the longer they spend apart, the more hesitant she grows in asking something she has always been able to read from him.

Instead she sends him a simple text, wishing for his quick recovery, to see him soon, and a box of sweet honey apples.

One more audition, and two callbacks later, the role of Gino falls to Ji Hyo. Sun Mi crushes her body in her congratulatory hug when the news breaks. The series plans to be entirely pre-filmed due to its fantastical nature. However, after the first month of filming, the cast is invited to the preliminary screening of the first two episodes- mostly for the actors to see how their scenes translate to the actual screen, with the addition of music and special effects, to get a better sense of their characters. Call it pride, or perhaps an actor’s intuition, but Ji Hyo sees promise of its success as if whispered by the goddess of victory herself.

Song Ji Hyo. Actress, age thirty six. Since the critical acclaim of Land of the Maestri a few years earlier, Ji Hyo’s reputation climbs to new heights, and shows little sign of slowing down. The fame is dizzying, heady as good wine and just as fragile. Not since the heydays of Running Man has she basked in the luxury of the fickle love of the masses.

She appears in many, many shows: from romantic comedies such as Emergency Couple, to the vampire period drama Bell Amie, to the somewhat controversial Korean remake of Sherlock. Each new role, both main and supporting, presents a new challenge she’s happy to puzzle out.

Her latest series she just finished filming for is Ozland. Whimsically written by the webtoon artist, Lee Yoon Chang, Ozland follows the adventures of Dandelion, a high school girl teleported into the land of Oz into Dorothy’s body loosely based on the famous play. Both Ji Hyo and the new actress Kim Bo Ra, shared the role of Dandelion, with Ji Hyo also playing Dorothy in a one person-one and half-role type situation.

Normally Ji Hyo relishes the down times after the end of a series to work on herself. Horseriding, martial arts, woodwork, anything really for an actor’s skills should be as numerous as the roles they desire. This time however, possibly the longest free time she has without even a single photoshoot, she feels restless in her too big house she’s finally paid off. For this reason, she debates returning to her family home in Pohang for some well earned, genuine rest and introspection.

Four years ago, Jong Kook announced his retirement from the entertainment world.

The man does not give any answers, only a short speech at a press conference, if it could be called one at all, that holds only equal parts gratitude and apology. It’s so uncharacteristic of the man named Kim Jong Kook that speculations run wild from the more plausible complications of surgery, to the downright outrageous.

Ji Hyo searched and scoured for answers between lines of articles, wondering if there was something she had missed. Perhaps no answer existed. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to ask, why hadn’t he said anything?

The world forgot Kim Jong Kook, and with or without him, spun madly on.

A small crease forms between her brows remembering the holidays spent at Pohang last year. She loves her parents, really, but even one of the most successful actresses in the nation still had room for improvement in the eyes of one Mother Song, it seemed. Instead, Ji Hyo thinks of the beach, the cozy cottages, the white sand. The ocean has always calmed her.

Originally she had planned to watch the sun rise, but the early September sky is giddy, coloring the pale walls of her home with warm light, much too early for Ji Hyo. Despite her late start, Song Ji Hyo drives mindlessly east.


	2. Chapter 2

The once quiet beach she remembers has since turned into a seaside resort, poised to welcome a stream of visitors during the height of summer. Brightly colored parasols line the sandy coast, as do the white lounge chairs in rows of twos. Still, the end of summer sees a mostly empty beach, save for a few families walking along the water. The gulls’ shrill cry pierce the air.

Ji Hyo drives along a looping line of asphalt following the hillside. The salty sea air lingers when she rolls the windows down. Reaching the bottom of the hill, Ji Hyo parks on the street in one of the last stretches of the residential area before the pier.

Walking along the pier brings back memories of her hometown. The docks are slow in the late morning, quiet save for the few motorboats in the water making long, lazy circles off the coast. Most of the ships have left at dawn already, to follow the current and wind out towards the calm morning sea. Still, one fishing boat ventures out now. Spotting her on the pier, one of the crew adjusting the nets on deck wave to her. Ji Hyo walks down to the harbor proper. A couple of boatmen meander about carrying equipment of various shapes and sizes, and a few straggling tourists stick out like plastic toys washed up at the edge of the water, bright and colorful in their too clean shirts. 

“Can I help you, miss?”

A gravelly voice brings her attention to a man in his early fifties. He wears a black overall over a faded orange shirt, and a wide smile with a gap tooth.

She struggles for an answer, and says, “I honestly don't know what I'm looking for myself.” The words rush out with delightful ease to a complete stranger, as do most things. Ji Hyo doesn’t know if she’s talking about the portside or herself.

After a beat, the man offers a well practiced, “Well ya know, we got fishing boats going out to water there for pretty cheap. Can catch a mackerel or a rockfish if you’re lucky.” He makes noise of satisfaction and continues, “I'm telling ya, nothing beats a freshly caught rockfish dipped in some gochujang. Will make quick work of it, much better than the stuff you city folk eat.”

Ji Hyo smiles and shakes her head. “Well…”

“There's an island not too far from the coast there.” He points in the distance to her left and Ji Hyo swivels around to follow his gesture. “About an hour out, decent town, nothing big. Got some pretty good noodles though. Nice view, too.”

He looks expectantly at her. They probably don't get too many folks in the off-season, she thinks. Thus, against her better judgement, Ji Hyo buttons up her jacket.

“Alright, when are you leaving?”

The man beams at her.

  


The ship is worn but obviously well cared for. In no time at all, they cut a neat line across the waves and out to open water, leaving a white wake behind them. The ahjussi chatters happily over the drone of the engine and the crash of the waves, mostly about the town, though he delves into talking about his daughter near the end. Two other passengers (probably a couple) also sit on the small deck, much more prepared for the cold ocean sprays in their waterproof jackets. Meanwhile bundled up in the blanket the captain had lent her, Ji Hyo watches the island fast growing in size as they approach.

Ji Hyo makes sure to return the blanket before she hops off the boat. She follows the other two passengers into midtown, since they look like they know where they’re going, at least more than she does anyway, a person with nothing better to do. 

The town is quiet, sleepy, but lively in its own way. Only a handful of cars dot the two laned streets, but still quite a few pedestrians are out for a weekday morning, at least. Ji Hyo asks passersby for the directions to the noodle place the ahjussi mentioned earlier. The whole day has been so surreal, momentarily she forgets her usual fear of someone recognizing her. They either choose to one, politely ignore any resemblances she bears to a famous actress, or two, simply don't care. Ji Hyo doesn't mind either way.

The store owner bringing her buckwheat noodles chides her as she sets the table.

“Aigo, what's a face like yours doing here, eating alone? If I were twenty years younger with your looks, I'd be doing better than managing this old place.”

“You give me too much credit, auntie,” she replies, but not before thanking her for the food. 

The noodles taste better than she expected for the price, and the size of the town. Belly full, she ventures out once more, wandering wherever her feet took her. Feeling rather adventurous, she follows a stray tabby cat through an alleyway, past a a karaoke place, a couple shops, until she ends up in a more residential area.

The houses crowd together here, following the natural curve of the terrain. The road starts inclining at some point, possibly indicating the presence of a school nearby. It’s only just uphill enough that Ji Hyo thanks herself for wearing running shoes. Though slightly more spaced out than its flat-ground cousins, each house has its own architectural nuance from the rooftops, the colors, to the building materials if one looks closely enough. Thin, earth-red bricks jut jarringly against plain white walls. Rooftops varying shapes and sizes reach towards the sky in a patchwork of blues, browns, greys. Small red and yellow blossoms, whose names she always forgot, line the edges of the road closest to the houses amongst leaves of deep green. And through this, ever present is the criss cross of telephone wires in the early September sky.

When the ground levels out once more to a denser neighborhood, a small corner store beckons her with its sun bleached letters and promise of snacks. The mid-afternoon is still too early for school to be out, but she can easily imagine how the store would look teeming with students, hands fighting to put down their fill of sugar on the counter first. Even after almost twenty years, like clockwork, her body remembers the specific minute the telltale bell rings. As of the moment however, only a little girl sits outside on one of the cheap, white, plastic chairs that seemingly materialize into old corner stores.

Ji Hyo enters, marvelling quietly at the sheer amount of snacks and knick knacks packed into every available corner, with only just enough room to navigate around the space and no more. Also present is the grainy, heavy smell of newspapers, plastic packaging, offset with the light scent of fruity gum wrappers. A small fan near the register keeps the any lingering heat of late summer at bay. 

As she’s paying for her purchases (just one pack of gum), Ji Hyo can’t help but ask, “Do you know how long she’s been outside?

“Who?” The man's gnarled fingers, folding over the bills as the he counts, still.

Ji Hyo gestures to the window, the black tuft of hair just barely visible in its corner. 

“Damn kid, thought she’d gotten up and left already. She was in here a little earlier looking around for a minute, didn’t get anything though. There’s a police station not too far away o’er there, if the girl’s lost.”

“I see, thank you.”

When Ji Hyo exits the store, their eyes meet. If she really is lost, the girl doesn’t say anything as her legs dangle over the chair, clad in dark blue leggings under a brightly colored skirt. Her eyes fixate on her, studying her with the intensity of children who fearlessly absorb absolutely everything. She can’t be more than five years old.

“Hey there,” Ji Hyo calls out, in what she hopes is a friendly voice. 

The girl takes a moment to register she had been spoken to, slides off the chair with her little hands clasped in front of her as children are taught to do, then bows deeply. “Anyeonghasaeyo.”

She lifts her head and gives her a toothy smile. A beat later, almost shyly, she says, “You’re really pretty.”

Before Ji Hyo can get a word out the child says more boldly this time, “You know, you know, you look just like Dandelion!”

“Who’s that?”

“She’s in Ozland. She fights bad guys with her magic wind powers. Like whooosh, and then the bad guys go bam!” She punches the air to demonstrate.

Ji Hyo chuckles, and tucks a stray hair behind her ear and bends down to her level. “Thank you! That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all month. I like your braids, by the way, they’re really cute.”

“Papa did them himself, this morning.” The girl puffs up chest. Really cute.

“That’s super cool! Actually… hm, I was wondering, are your parents nearby?”

At this the child’s eyes widen before shaking her head solumely. “No, I’m walking home.”

“By yourself?”

“Yeah! I can walk home by myself. Since Yeo Wool is big now.” The girl, Yeo Wool, doesn’t say anything further.

Hoping to encourage her, Ji Hyo asks, “How did you end up here then? Doesn’t look like home.”

“Well…..” Yeo Wool begins, tilting her head to one side. “Papa picks me up usually, ‘cept he didn’t today. We were s’pposed to go to the park today though. So I walked to the park. But then, I couldn’t find the park.” She breathes in, then heaves a big sigh as if holding the weight of the world. “Now I dunno where I am anymore.”

“Huh, so you’re lost.”

The girl nods. “Papa said if I get lost, I should stay right where I am. And then he’ll come find me, no matter what.” She looks thoughtful for a moment, then leans in as if to tell her a secret. “But he said if I saw a mommy with her kids, he said I should tell them I’m lost.”

She pats the white chair she had been sitting on. “So I'm waiting and waiting, for a mommy with kids, but nothing so far.”

“Maybe we can call your papa and let him know you’re here. He must be really worried about you. Do you know his number?”

  


The phone picks up after two rings.

“Hi, papa. This is Yeo Wool.” 

Indistinct rush of chatter. “Mmhm… No, a nice unni let me borrow her phone.” The conversation continues in this fashion for a few moments before Yeo Wool pokes her arm. 

“He wants to talk to you.” She goes right back to sitting in the chair after handing the phone over.

“Hello?”

‘Hi, hello.’ The man sounds a little out of breath. ‘Thank you so much for finding her. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if you hadn't called. I was so worried...’

The lingering, sharp relief in the quiver of his voice which the man tries to steady, threatens to bleed into her own heart, but Ji Hyo keeps her tone light and even. “It’s no problem, anyone would have done the same thing."

He clears his throat. ‘If you give me the address, I can head right over.”

“I’m actually just visiting in town so I don’t know where I am. I’m in front of this convenience store, it says…. We Bear Bears Market. Would you know happen to know where that is? If not, let me ask the store owner for the address.”

Ji Hyo waits with Yeo Wool in front of the corner store, playing a game of chopsticks. For the record, Yeo Wool has won the last two times, but this one looks like a close game.

Yeo Wool taps Ji Hyo’s hand with two tiny fingers.

“Ah you got me!” 

Yeo Wool giggles and claps her hands. “Again, again!”

“Again?” Kids and their boundless energy. “How about we do something else?”

“Like what?”

“Hmm, I'm actually kind of thirsty right now. What about you, do you want something to drink?”

“Yeah, I'm thirsty.” She suddenly slaps her hand over her mouth. “But I'm not s'pposed to take stuff from strangers.”

Ji Hyo nods. After taking a moment to ponder, she begins, “You know, when I went inside earlier, there were so many drinks I couldn't decide what to get. Would be nice if someone could help me choose between a couple, don't you think?"

“I can help!”

“Oh, you will?”

“Yeah, I know all the best stuff to eat!”

“How about, I give you this,” she fishes out a couple bills, handing them to the girl. “And you go inside, and pick two drinks. One for me, and one for you.”

“Really? One for me?”

“Yeah, for helping me. Because I’ll have to stay out here so we don’t miss your dad when he comes by, right?" The girl nods solemnly in response. "So, do you think you can do that for me?”

  


Yeo Wool returns to their spot a few minutes later. 

“Yup, banana milk is the bestest,” she says in between sips.

Ji Hyo is content to listen as Yeo Wool chatters on, fully fuelled with her sweet, yellow drink which she finishes rather quickly. At times, she can’t quite understand what she says, but Ji Hyo makes out most of her gripping tale of the plot of Ozland, complete with additional sound effects.

She’s in the middle of recounting the tale of tin man Lumber Jack when she freezes. 

“Yeo Wool!” 

“Papa!!” Yeo Wool screams, jumpin off the seat and running as fast as her legs can carry her.

Ji Hyo turns around to watch Yeo Wool barrel into a figure whom she could assume is her father, with all the force a four year old can muster. Her father buries his face in her neck, and envelops her in a tight, tight hug and swings her around, calling her name again and again as Yeo Wool squeals in delight. Ji Hyo leans against the chairs stacked by the doorway, unable to keep a watery smile from her face.

“Are you okay? I was so worried…” He’s heard saying into Yeo Wool’s tiny shoulder, voice coming out muffled.

“I stayed right where I was, just like you said, papa. And you found me, just like I knew you would!”

“Yes, yes, little love. You did so good, so good, I’m so proud of you. And I’m sorry.” After a beat, he tears himself away from his daughter for a moment, as if even this distance causes him pain. Yet he continues more firmly. “Now...I don’t want you walking home by yourself, understand? We walk home together, even if I know you know the way home. If I don’t come, have the teacher call me, do you understand?”

“Yes, papa.”

“Okay,” he says, then. “Okay.” He gives her one last squeeze, and breathes out. 

Remembering that she was still there, the man hastily dusts himself off and stands up to his full height, though one arm still rests on Yeo Wool. “I don’t know how to thank you enough. If there’s anything-”

She feels her smile fall off her own face, contorting into something more raw and harsh than the surprise she usually wears with ease for a camera.

His eyes…. His eyes are a mirror distorted, reflecting back her confusion, shock, in a shape different from her own. Before her stands the figure of a man whose name she had never forgotten, but never expected to see. Years of nostalgia and unsaid words crash into her like a speeding train into a cement wall, with no time to pull the brakes. She’s seen enough Mythbusters to know what happens at impact.

“Ji Hyo?”

Obliteration, complete and utter obliteration.


	3. Chapter 3

“Ji Hyo?”

The name falls so easily off his lips. 

Ji Hyo. Ji Hyo. _Ji Hyo._

She tries to make sense of the muddy entanglement of feelings lodged in her throat, the pull of muscles in her hand forgetting how to work, the cold seeping into her chest and eyes. 

Seeing him is both easier and harder than Ji Hyo imagined. And she’d imagined this scenario many, many times in the year following his sudden retirement. In a hundred different ways, each with so many crossroads she was sure such paths resembled more the branches of a gnarled tree than any road. As many times until Ji Hyo accepted the truth for what it was: they’d never cross paths again. That’s just how things were sometimes. The sooner she believed it, the happier she’d be, or so she’d thought.

He blinks slowly, not quite believing she is here. She can't believe it either. He reminds her of the Mona Lisa, the masterpiece, the eternal intrigue. The small downturn of his brows and the curve of his lips haunt her because she can’t read them.

A pause.

Jong Kook squeezes his girl’s tiny hands, then schools his expression into something infinitely kinder. 

Shoulders relaxing, he says, “I didn’t think I’d run into you of all people here. It’s good to see you.” 

Perhaps he feels none of the turmoil she does.

“Ji Hyo?” This time with an undertone of polite concern.

“Me too.” Ji Hyo hesitates, but words flow out easier this time, “I mean, It’s good to see you too! Sorry, I was just surprised, that’s all. Thought I saw a ghost or something since….”

She smiles more to reassure the man in front of her.

“I know, it’s been-”

“Four years,” she offers helpfully.

“Four years.”

Jong Kook’s hair is longer now, dark with a few streaks of silver that couldn’t possibly be that good looking but was. Laughlines smooth the corner of his eyes where delicate crow’s feet begin. He looks every part of doting father and loving husband.

“Thank you again for rescuing Yeo Wool.”

“It’s no problem really, I can see Yeo Wool’s been well taught.”

His eyes sparkle. “Ha, I can’t tell you how much that means to me.” He catches her looking at him. “...Will you be in town for a couple of days?” 

Ji Hyo thinks about her car parked on the street an hour of ocean away. “I’m... in the area.” _Sort of. _“Why?”

“Well-”

Yeo Wool bounces up and down from where she stands until Jong Kook bends down to her height so she can whisper in his ear.

Turning his head to look at her, Jong Kook replies, “We'll go home in five minutes, okay? I want to ask the nice unni something." He takes out something, metal from the way the sun glints off of it, from his pocket and gives it to Yeo Wool.

“Okay. You promised!” Yeo Wool sniffs and lets go of his hand to trot to the wall where brights flowers are in full bloom. Jong Kook’s eyes linger on her for a moment before tearing away to focus back on her.

“Sorry about that. She’s usually more patient.”

Ji Hyo shakes her head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’s anxious to go home after everything that’s happened.”

If Jong Kook noticed her eyes flit briefly to his unadorned left hand before looking at him again, he does not say anything. Instead he begins tentatively, “...Can I buy you coffee some time if you’re free? I still want to thank you properly.”

“Jong Kook.” The name rolls her off her tongue as if it’s never stopped saying it at all. “I would have done the same for anyone. You don’t need to repay me.”

“It’s not just about the coffee.” Jong Kook’s smile is too gentle to not to be some shade of genuine, but doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “But I understand if you’re busy, of course.”

She doesn’t understand why he offers this chance to explain himself even if she is willing to listen, as if it makes a difference. Had Jong Kook not actively offered, she would continue to live her life without knowing anything about Jong Kook, as she had done for the past years. Perhaps in one more year or two, she would look back on the memory of Jong Kook with much fondness without the cloud of wistful what-ifs. Jong Kook, kind as ever, presents a glittering olive branch, two-sided in its offer: one, a chance to answer her too obvious question, and the other, an easy rejection should she wish to keep her peace of mind. 

Behind her trademark blank expression, her rationality and her emotions whirl against each other like the heat crashing against cool air, the kind of violence that gives birth to tropical storms. 

In the eye of a hurricane of her own making, she takes a breath and says, “...You know I’m never too busy to pass up on coffee with a friend.”

His shoulders relax. “Then it’s settled, coffee it is. I know a nice, quiet cafe for brunch unless you had somewhere else in mind.”

“That sounds good. Tomorrow?”

He nods. “I’m fairly flexible in the morning. When would be a good time?"

Despite the lack of any plans, Ji Hyo cannot bring herself to say so. She needs a moment to think, to breathe. But she is nothing if not an actress, thus she folds these thoughts in a neat little box, minds her breathing, moves her lips to form the words in the elegantly enunciated way stage people do-

"I can text you.” Ji Hyo never said the words themselves had to be elegant. She holds her phone up as to prove her point.

He pauses for a moment mouth open to say something. “Ah, right.” Jong Kook’s voice catches on the edge of a sigh but continues in the same polite tone, “Well then, I'll see you tomorrow.”

He gives her a nod of his head and he walks towards Yeo Wool who is crouched, picking at the flowers there. Still within earshot of their indistinct chatter, she can hear him ask, “So? What’s this one’s name?”

She turns around to walk back somewhere, anywhere. After three steps she tentatively turns around, sees him pick up the girl in his arms.

Yeo Wool spots her and gives her an exuberant wave, which she returns. Ji Hyo swivels back. She doesn’t see Jong Kook’s short glance at her before Yeo Wool against his chest points at a tree that’s caught her eye, with the funny kind of fruit Jong Kook explains will turn into a pomegranate.

  


Ji Hyo remains in a daze the twenty minutes walk back to the main road. She replays the conversation again and again, willing it to make sense and confirming that indeed it happened. 

Then once the reality of the moment sets in, Ji Hyo begins to panic. This was supposed to be a simple day trip, what was she thinking making an appointment for tomorrow in this no name town? She has nothing on her except for her wallet and phone, and her handbag that contains more old receipts and loose change than anything useful. 

However, her worrying is entirely frivolous. In this day and age one only needs a phone and a credit card after all. And money is not an issue to one who remained one of the top actresses in the country in the last few years. 

The signal grows splotchy at this point so it takes a bit more waiting and wondering to find a marketplace. Small stores line both sides of the main street with their wares displayed in full view. They are more stands than full stores, usually only a single narrow enclave behind the attending storekeeper usually just for backstock. Nearby an older woman with worn skin, and a perm that poofed up like a halo around her sells grain. The air tastes warm and sweet with freshly milled roasted sesame seeds, sweet rice, red beans.

Ji Hyo reminds herself that it is just for one day. One more day and perhaps she can unravel the mystery of Jong Kook who weighs in her mind. And then what? Ji Hyo shakes her head, she can worry about that later.

After buying necessities (mostly just the change of clothes) for the night, Ji Hyo stumbles her way towards the inn. 

She showers quickly. The warm water coaxes one too many stray thoughts, ones that surely run towards Jong Kook just as rain from the sky follows the familiar grooves of the ground to the river and sea eventually.

Though miles from her own home, she has a penchant for sleeping in unconventional locations, top actress title be damned- thus the soft resistance of any mattress fills her with a sudden rush of welcome. Or she supposed, it was only natural after the unexpectedly eventful day. The thought of how exactly to approach the sudden enigma of Jong Kook makes her far more tired than the sour sting of her calves from having walked the length of the town on her way here.

She recalls the way he looked at her. Rather it pained her that she didn’t know how he looked at her. Not unkind, for Jong Kook’s love for Yeo Wool, obvious even in the short time she met him, would have tempered even his iron stubbornness. Recognition certainly, but had they held warmth reserved for a long lost friend (and they were friends, weren’t they?), or was it the politeness of a once co-worker and senior, or perhaps an obligation knowing he was the source of many questions at the moment.

Ji Hyo hadn’t meant to pry, more work habit to observe folks than anything, that she supplied her mind with these details. The lack of a wedding band on his left ring finger. The Jong Kook she knew was the quiet sort of romantic, the one who could barely string together the words “I love you”, instead saying it a thousand times over in the moments he spent with someone. A man like him would never take off his wedding band, should he have any say in it. And then, Yeo Wool- a child who had to be born around the time of his retirement considering her age...

What had Jong Kook done all these years?

  
  


She can hardly stifle her nervousness the next morning. Not even standing in front of the cameras made her as nervous as right now when she brushed her hair, and smoothing down the only outfit she had, the plain ivory shirt she had bought from the store yesterday.

The address that Jong Kook sent her brings her to a quiet little cafe near the beach. It’s too early, but Ji Hyo had already gone through her morning routine much earlier than normal, and the fear she’d somehow get lost in the unfamiliar town kept her on her toes.

Jong Kook arrives about three minutes before eleven. Today he wears a navy blue button down with rolled up sleeves, tucked into a loose pair of black pants. When he opens the door to the cafe for them, the small chime at the top of the door gives a cheery jingle. Immediately the warm, heady scent of coffee welcomes her as does the upbeat piano and violin music murmuring from the speakers.

Ji Hyo looks around the building, the inside more cozy than outside with the acoustic wooden walls. Jong Kook must be a regular here, though the fact doesn't surprise her for a town this small. A popular regular, as the young woman with the nametag reading Do Yeon greets him amicably.

“Jin Kook-ssi, I haven't seen you in so long! How is little Yeo Wool doing?”

“It has been a little busier than usual at the shop with training the new hire. And Yeo Wools doing great, thank you for asking. We’ve been trying to bake a cake using the recipe you gave us.”

“Aaand, how did that turn out?”

“Disastrous.” Jong Kook rolls his eyes exaggerated in good jest. “Let's just say we're nowhere near ready to start a bakery anytime soon.”

Do Yeon throws her head back in a hearty laugh, something she doesn't quite expect from the wispy, long legged woman. “Well well, practice makes perfect I'm sure. In the meantime, can I get you and your friend anything? You can also take a menu with you to the table if you'd like a little more time,” the woman says addressing more to Ji Hyo.

The only other person sits at the barstool facing the streetside, but Jong Kook takes her towards a booth in the back corner, right by the emergency exit. With the planters at the end of each booth, this cozy nook is almost invisible from the outside unless one knew where to look. 

Ji Hyo leafs through the menu as Jong Kook continues from the seat opposite, “They make all their pastries by hand here, its fairly good. Can’t go wrong with anything on the breakfast menu, especially their croissants.”

They’ve known each other too long for things to be awkward, but questions hang in the air heavy.

Like that, she realizes again that this whole other life without her, exists for Jong Kook. God forbid, he had a whole kid she never even knew about. The people they were five years ago is a far cry from who they are today- perhaps they spent too much time apart to know each other at all now. 

Ji Hyo pictures two points along a line. One moves steadily west, and the other east, their trajectory drawing a smooth, mirrored arc outwards from their shared line of symmetry. They grow further and further away from each other, only meeting together the instant when the past and the future merge to bring them, here in this moment. 

Still, they debate fiercely on who to pay, the fight familiar enough for her to fall back into the rhythm of their banter. A fight, which Ji Hyo loses despite her more than adequate wallet compared to the now retired singer’s. 

Ji Hyo watches Jong Kook’s back as he gets up to put in their order at the register. All the forces in the world point in the direction of decay. Law of the universe, entropy, she remembers idly from her university days. Thus even meeting right now is nothing short of, in consideration of all things, miraculous. They may as well be intersecting lines, crossing once and then never again. _Yet here we are._

“How have you been?”

She wishes she can say more but instead her tongue twists itself into wicked politeness, “I’ve been good, it’s been good. Just the usual kind of busy.” Ji Hyo adds at the bated beat of his silence, “It’s the good kind of busy though. For an entertainer, busy is the best thing to be.”

“You’re not wrong.” He smiles, but his eyes are searching, as to gauge her thoughts. “Do you have another drama coming up?”

“...We wrapped up our last filming for Ozland not too long ago. Then, suddenly everyone I’ve ever known wants to hang out. This last week has been nothing but one lunch or dinner plan after the other. And next week..” she thinks for a moment and realizes, “Huh, so nothing planned as of the moment, that’s rare.”

“They have to let you catch a break one of these days. Don’t want you to work yourself too hard and go collapsing on them now." The teasing remains light, but not without the undercurrent of concern. 

“I can take care of myself,” she retorts. “I’ve been working out more regularly these days, even in the off-season, you know. Taking jiu jitsu, having a healthy diet and all, I’m sure you’d be very proud.”

His lips curl at the end, sly in the endearing way of the cats waiting at the docks for free fish. “Very. As if your fists weren’t enough of a menace, to go off and take martial arts like that… Well, I’d hate to end up on the wrong side of them.”

“Sun Mi didn’t have any complaints about it.”

“Of course she didn’t.” 

The coffee machine hums quietly over the rumble of activity in the kitchen just beyond the curtain.

“Enough about me, what have you been up to? It’s been too long.” The last part comes out softer than she’d wanted it to, almost raw.

“Yes...It’s been four years.”

“Four years.” She looks to the counter. “You changed your name.”

“I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“I have gotten more observant.” Not like you’d know since you disappeared, she privately wants to add. In good humor, of course, through the sting is not entirely nonexistent. “Should I start calling you that? Mr. Sincere?”

He shakes his head. “You of all people don’t have to. Though I have been told it fits me rather well.” His smile turns just this side of rueful.

Jong Kook is too grateful when Do Yeon arrives just then with the croissant sandwich Ji Hyo ordered. Thoughts fly restless in his head, like too many birds trapped in a single cage. He wants this, needs this to be right for Ji Hyo at least and yet...

Ji Hyo allows the welcome distraction of food. Delightfully buttery and toasted ever so slightly on the outside, melted provolone cheese holds the various cuts of meat and lettuce, tomato together. The sandwich tastes wonderful with the mocha frappuccino she ordered.

“Thank you, Do Yeon.”

“Of course! Enjoy your meal, Jin Kook-ssi.” After a short bow to the both of them, Do Yeon bounces back in wide strides.

Watching her go, Ji Hyo repeats, “Jin Kook-ssi.”

He covers his eyes with his hands. “Come on now.”

“Seems like you’re a pretty popular regular.”

He shrugs. “It’s a small town, almost everyone knows each other.”

Ji Hyo finds it too easy to tell him about similarly safe and inconsequential things, like the last time she invited her haggle of metaphorically adopted dongsaengs, and they had eaten the sushi she had been saving. They had all received the full brunt of her wrath, only tided over with the promise of a meal each. 

A few blessed moments of quiet pass as they enjoy the food. After two more sips, Ji Hyo puts down the frappuccino. Her fingers tap against the cup’s lingering warmth with a note of careful determination. 

“Can I ask why?.... I don’t- I hardly think it’s fair you know what I’ve been up to, yet I don’t know a single thing about you these past years.”

“I was wondering when you would ask.”

“You could have just told me. You’ve never been one for secrets.” Ji Hyo sounds more pointed than she means to. Trying to inject some humor in her tone she adds, “We missed you, you know.” _I missed you._

The only indication her words affect him is the way he straightens under her gaze, shuffling his back against the chair. “After I retired, especially after I retired....I wanted to stay under the radar. My old name had too many strings attached to it even after I left the industry, for a while anyways.”

“The surgery was fairly extensive to begin with. I kept putting it off, if you remember, because of one thing or another... And as I was laying there in bed, I wondered, if I took a long hiatus now when all’s said and done with if I could come back at all. I had my fans, I had my friends, I had people who have been in the industry for a long time, but still I’m not as young as I used to be. To jump into it all over again, would it be worth it, would they even remember me?... I had… a lot of time to think about it, a bed’s a good place to think as any, you know.”

His words are even, measured in a way that makes her think as if they’ve always been rolling around his head, only that this is the first time they’ve escaped the confines of his mind and seen the light of another listening ear.

Ji Hyo could not counter his worries because successful as she was, fame was such a fickle thing. People always looked for bigger and better things- the legend, the once winner of a triple crown Daesang knew better than she did. But-

“So you decided to retire.”

“So I did, yes.”

“Did you have a plan for what you wanted to do afterwards?”

Jong Kook’s eyes waver, a forlorn buoy at a dark sea, if only for a moment. “Only a vague idea, mostly. Being… that person was literally all I’ve ever known since it’s all I’ve done from high school.” He takes another sip from his rapidly emptying cup. “So once I was cleared from the hospital and recovering at my mother’s place, I went on long drives by myself. Just wandering about, mostly. One day, I decided to come here. I honestly can’t remember why I suddenly decided to hop on a boat to some random island.” 

He pauses. “And then I fell in love.”

“...Oh.” A flash of something nips against center of her ribcage, Ji Hyo feels the urge to scratch it. “Are they…”

“With the town,” he says with a wry smile in her direction, the cheeky bastard. “Nobody recognized me, let alone cared. So I bought a house here, been living here ever since. Now here I am, I’m here sitting in this cafe, in front of you.”

Ji Hyo gets a good chuckle at his attempt to lighten the mood, summarizing his life in one painfully neat little package. To learn each other again, one syllable at a time is careful: halting, almost awkward even, but moments like this makes it all worth it. 

“Now, the same question to you, Miss Song. What brings you to this town?”

“Same story, more or less. Maybe there’s something about the island that draws people to it, I hopped on the boat here before I knew what I was was doing. If I’m being honest, mostly because I had nothing better to do.”

“A boat from where?”

“There’s this one beach I enjoyed going to that I found a couple of years ago, when I was filming in the area. Might have been Bell Amie, who knows. I drove there first, but it’s been developed now- got parasols and benches and everything. So I kept driving until I found some place more quiet to get away properly. They just happened to have a boat that was leaving to this island, and this nice ahjussi kind of wheedled me into it, and I thought, why not?”

“Huh.”

“Yeah. Now here I am.” Ji Hyo gives a mock flourish with a wave of her hand.

At this, his tilts his head slightly. “I think you need a proper vacation, more than this old island.”

She got all sorts of casting calls, had many photoshoots and CFs lined up and still had enough time to model in her spare time for magazines and such. By all accounts, she is doing well, thriving even. Somewhere between all that, somehow it still feels empty however. 

“Possibly.” Ji Hyo turns to him. “But you like it here.”

“I’m glad you rate my opinion of this place so highly.”

“Because, they don’t know you’re Kim Jong Kook.”

“I’m not Kim Jong Kook. Anymore that is.” 

His voice remains light, but his lips draw softly into a thin hard line. He talked about the strings hanging to his name, she wonders if they still suffocated him so. “At least not that Kim Jong Kook. And it’s easier than you’d think if you don’t have cameras following you around. Or maybe here, they just don’t care at all. Regardless, this is my life now. Living quietly in a town in who knows where, enjoying a cafe like this, taking care of Yeo Wool. It’s so ordinary that I myself can hardly believe it at times.”

Yeo Wool. The most significant difference between the man who sits here now and the man five years ago. “About Yeo Wool… Is she yours?”

“She’s mine, by blood and all else...” An edge enters his voice. The miniscule tightness of his smile that she still remembers to read, prevents her from asking more, she can at least respect this was not a subject he wishes to talk about right now. 

Ji Hyo closes her eyes and opens them again. She regrets letting her curiosity get the best of her. Jong Kook has been nothing but accommodating, civil to the point where it’s infuriating because she wants to be angry at him. It’s infuriating how easy it is to fall into the old dance. The warm tenor of his voice seeps into her skin. Everything has changed and nothing has changed.

“Ji Hyo….” Jong Kook sighs. 

She glances up slowly from where she’s been working at what remains of her meal. 

Jong Kook moves his hand from the plate to rub his temples. The desolate white of the empty plate blinds her. He downs the rest of his drink, then sets the empty cup down on the saucer. His long fingers rest on the wooden table, drumming up a cautious, staccato of a beat. “Why don’t we take a walk along the beach after? The weather is lovely today.”

Jong Kook is right, the ocean is beautiful in this weather. The clear skies of September makes it difficult to tell where the sky ends and the sea begins. Glancing out the world is a wash of blues and pale grays. Her shoes dangle in the light grip of her hands and her toes relax at the damp sand beneath her.

A comfortable distance stands between the two of them, just enough that Jong Kook hugs her shadow, getting shorter by the crawling minute as the sun climbs in the sky. In the leisure and peace of the beachside, she lets Jong Kook observe her from the comfort of his distance before he approaches. Despite her now thirty plus rotations around the sun, the ocean never fails to calm her, it was just there, existing. 

Jong Kook is too soft when it comes to the feelings of those he cares about and continues to ponder the second and third time around.

“I can see where you’re coming from,” she begins. 

“What do you mean?”

“Yeo Wool. Why you suddenly retired from the industry, why you didn’t say anything about it. You had a family to take care of. I know you’ve wanted a happy marriage and kids for so long.”

Jong Kook remains silent.

Perhaps this was not the right thing to say at all. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. After all, there are still some cards I keep hidden close to my own chest.” She ponders for a moment, then turns around to face him. “I don’t like people coming to my house, for example.”

“I remember you telling me that.” Her efforts are rewarded with a grin, his mischief drawing out his words as surely as his dimples. “Or rather, it was more than obvious even without you telling us, after that night on the train.”

“You guys teased me about it for _weeks_.”

A gull cries overhead. 

Jong Kook strides forward until they walk next to each other. Not too close, because they were not of the lovers, but more than mere acquaintances now, perhaps hopefully on the tentative road to friendship if he so wished.

“...This may be too forward, but can you at least tell me this?” Ji Hyo doesn’t look at him but her footsteps slow to a halt. Besides her, Jong Kook sucks in a barely audible breath.

“Are you happy?”

His eyes grow just a fraction wide at her (completely serious) question. 

“I am.”

It’s the most sincere smile she’s seen from him all morning. The kind that weaves the overcast glimmer of sun of grey-blue waters into his eyes. The kind that makes him look younger still, but also refined, for Jong Kook wears fatherhood like a king’s cloak with the sort of reserved pride that speaks volumes still.

She soaks in his honesty the way new tendrils of green reach for the sun.

"I'm glad." Ji Hyo means it. Then she nods, turning her head away. “Thanks, that’s all I wanted to know.”

Jong Kook opens his mouth as if to say more but instead puts one hand in his pockets to match her walking once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to hit me up on Twitter too! @kairus_jk

**Author's Note:**

> Jong Kook makes an appearance the next chapter..
> 
> Some of the works I mentioned here are actually webtoons that I've personally enjoyed:
> 
> 1\. Land of the Maestri (장인의 나라) by MooHwa (무화): Ji Hyo's lines from the script is an actual line from here though it has no relevance to the plot 
> 
> 2\. Ozland (오즈랜드) by Lee Yoon Chang (이윤창)


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